In no particular order, here are 10 things you don’t want to hear Bill Gates say:

1. “The next Windows release will require a credit card number at activation, and will automatically bill you at the start of every month.”
2. “A name has been decided on for ‘Codename Vienna’. It will be Windows Mirage.”
3. “You don’t have to worry about adware being installed without permission anymore. Now the advertisers go through us. Your hourly pop-up ad will be delivered through Windows itself instead of a hazardous adware program.”
4. “Since no one liked our talking paperclip in Microsoft Office, we’re giving Internet Explorer a talking donut.”
5. “What, Firefox 3 is out? Send out the Orcs!”
6. “Google had good luck with the ‘invitation only’ approach, so we’re doing the same thing with Hotmail. To get an account you have to either get an invitation from an existing user or bring us a shrubbery.”
7. “We got so many comments about Windows XP crashing a lot, we decided to build that feature into Vista, too!”
8. “Oh, enough of all this Windows stuff already. Just proclaim me your king and send me $500 every year.”
9. “Internet Explorer 8 will be based of the Geico Rendering Engine. I believe that’s the same one Firefox is based off?” [NOTE: Firefox is based off the Gecko engine. ]
10. “Due to complaints about Vista’s sluggishness, we’re releasing a fifteen gigabyte service pack that should correct the problem.”

In no particular order, here’s 21 things you should definitely NOT say to Bill Gates:

1. “How many songs do you have on your iPod, Bill?”
2. “Gee, Vista sure looks familiar… Now where have I seen something like that?…”
3. “Can I borrow $399?”
4. “What Linux distro would you recommend?”
5. “I’m gonna go buy a Mac. See ya!”
6. “I won’t be buying a Zune anytime Zune!”
7. “So you’re saying I should pay actual money to upgrade to Vista so my computer will run slower?“
8. “How about bundling a good browser, like Firefox, with windows?”
9. “The Rebels have released Version 10.5, Lord Vader.”
10. “Would you like to buy a Firefox T-Shirt?”
11. “Why should I need to buy antivirus protection from Microsoft? Shouldn’t it be built in?”
12. “Why is my Hotmail account filled with spam from MSN?”
13. “Hey, Billbossa! Why isn’t the spyware gone?”
14. “Why is there a talking paperclip invading my word processor?”
15. “One browser to rule them all.”
16. “Think Different.”
17. “Can you make Windows more Mac-like?”
18. “That’s all you can make after six years?”
19. “Sorry, can’t talk now. I’ve got to go sell the rest of my Microsoft stock.”
20. “Want a GMail invite?”
21. “Another Windows release? Time to get out the old typewriter…”

If you’re a webmaster designing a website, there are 10 things you should NOT do unless seriously annoy you’re users. These things include (in no particular order):

1. Pop-up ads. Don’t even think about it! They may pay well, but most people totally hate having a small window with something as stupid as an advertisement launched right into their face. Admit it, you have a pop-up blocker installed on your computer.
2. Dark text on a dark background. Does it make any sense to have dark gray text on a black background? NO! You need to make sure that the text is legible. After all, what do you normally do on a website? You read it! You should also note that some people’s monitors display things differently. If I design something that looks great on my CRT, it will likely looked washed out on a Dell Dimension D510’s LCD screen.
3. Full-Flash websites. Do NOT even consider making your entire website in Adobe Flash. It will take too long to load, search engines will be totally blind to your content, and your users will not like your weird navigation scheme. It’s okay to put Flash on your site, but don’t make the entire site out of it (if you insist on making the site entirely with Flash, at least make an alternate non-flash version). *cough* Warner Brothers *cough*.
4. Demanding IE. Do not ever demand that your users use Internet Explorer. A large percentage of web users use browsers other than Internet Explorer. Demanding IE will infuriate them. Take Wal-Mart’s video downloads site for example. It launched in Early February and they demanded that users use IE. Guess what? Their site is anything but a success. I use Firefox, and I can’t stand IE. Make sure your site works in Firefox!
5. Backgrond music. Don’t. Background music takes a long time to load, then proceeds to drive you’re users slowly insane. Put it this way: Do you want Beethoven’s 5th Symphony blasting through your speakers suddenly, just because some webmaster thought it would be cool?
6. Amateurish practises. Do not make your site look like it was thrown together by Yahoo Geocities’s stupid WYSMBWYGSO (What You See May Be What You Get. Sort Of) editor. Learn HTML and CSS, then make a layout (if you can’t do that, get one from a template site). You’re site should look professional (example: this site) not like a seven-year-old threw it together (example: the 1996 Lego Website). On a similar note, if you must use a free webhost, use one like Awardspace.com. There should be NO ads that are, uh, added by the host (forced ads), and you should have PHP and MySQL access too.
7. Stupid JavaScript tricks. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!! People will run away screaming if they see more blinking text, “cursor trails”, or other weird tricks. Don’t disable people’s right-mouse-buttons either. I’m not complaining about JavaScript, just stupid pointless things done with it. I’m a big AJAX fan.
8. Navigation. Any site should have navigational links on either a sidebar or a “topbar”. The links should not be “broken” and they should be structured in a logical manner that will help your users find what they want. Search tools are useful too. Your visitors shouldn’t feel like they’re stumbling through the middle of nowhere without a map.
9. Excessive.use.of.dots.in.your.url. If i have to type Del.icio.us or Script.aculo.us one more time I’m going to throw up. Where does the first dot go again? How many dots are there? Aaaagh! “Subdomain Tricks” like this are okay if done correctly, but they annoy a lot of people if they aren’t. Some examples of good ones are: mail.yahoo.com, redwallhp.ntugo.com, ma.gnolia.com, etc. Subdomains are a useful and tool (redwallhp.ntugo.com or you.blogspot.com), but only if used correctly. The URL must be formed in a way that’s easy to remember and type. Oh well, at least it’s better than some of those library and governmental websites like www.bpl.lib.me.us.
10. Registration for pointless reasons. Don’t make people sign-up just so they can see what’s on your site. Suppose someone sends me a link to a news article that’s allegedly interesting. I shouldn’t have to register just to read it. The websites for “traditional” print publications are the biggest offenders here. The same goes for things like polls. To vote on a poll, you should just be able to click your choice without logging in to anything.

Well there have it, 10 bits of advice you should follow to avoid annoying your potential users.