In no particular order, here’s 21 things you should definitely NOT say to Bill Gates:

1. “How many songs do you have on your iPod, Bill?”
2. “Gee, Vista sure looks familiar… Now where have I seen something like that?…”
3. “Can I borrow $399?”
4. “What Linux distro would you recommend?”
5. “I’m gonna go buy a Mac. See ya!”
6. “I won’t be buying a Zune anytime Zune!”
7. “So you’re saying I should pay actual money to upgrade to Vista so my computer will run slower?“
8. “How about bundling a good browser, like Firefox, with windows?”
9. “The Rebels have released Version 10.5, Lord Vader.”
10. “Would you like to buy a Firefox T-Shirt?”
11. “Why should I need to buy antivirus protection from Microsoft? Shouldn’t it be built in?”
12. “Why is my Hotmail account filled with spam from MSN?”
13. “Hey, Billbossa! Why isn’t the spyware gone?”
14. “Why is there a talking paperclip invading my word processor?”
15. “One browser to rule them all.”
16. “Think Different.”
17. “Can you make Windows more Mac-like?”
18. “That’s all you can make after six years?”
19. “Sorry, can’t talk now. I’ve got to go sell the rest of my Microsoft stock.”
20. “Want a GMail invite?”
21. “Another Windows release? Time to get out the old typewriter…”